no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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