...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Randomize
