yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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