He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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