Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
