oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
