I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
