It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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