We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
