I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
