Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
