im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
