just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
