she smelled like a LAN party
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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