lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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