Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
