Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he shaved USA in his pubs
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize