Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
