I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
