Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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