Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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