There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
