When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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