It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
vagina is talking i cant
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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