I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
