you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The uberlube is also flammable
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
