Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
even my farts smell like vagina
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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