is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
