oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
only you would photoshop your dick
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
