i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize