i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
