Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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