What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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