No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
