How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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