i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
