yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize