Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
