If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
