Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Everything about him screamed your future.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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