You're completely useless in the revolution.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
