ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
