I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
