i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
