You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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