I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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