This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
