sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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