Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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