pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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