My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
