I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
