Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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