That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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