It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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