If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
my god I love twenty year old dicks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
