My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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