I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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