The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
