You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
