if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
