you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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